Tim Lammers, movie reviewer to the stars is back. And you know what that means. That's right, we're comparing different modes of transportation and their relative danger levels. Also the topic of driving while intoxicated. We concluded that it's not a good idea. But are tires made out of food a good idea? That remains to be seen. And tasted.
We're finally back after a record-breaking hiatus. These things will happen when the entire country freezes over. Snowpocalypse was a disappointment compared to last week, and it didn't even get a name this time. That's okay, because we're inside thinking about the warm ocean air anyway, because we're all Beach Boys fans. David is too, as evidenced by the fact that he wrote God Only Knows: The Story of Brian Wilson, the Beach Boys and the California Myth. You've gotta be a pretty big fan of something to write a book about it. Even moreso to wake up early to talk about it.
Debby Boone has been singing since the 70s, and given her legacy that makes sense. What else makes sense is promoting her cover of Snow from White Christmas in the middle of a winter storm. Listen to it during your two hour drive back home tonight. It's thematic. After all, what is Christmas with no snow?
Slashing can be a good thing or a bad thing. Let's say you have a bunch of suspicious moles. You want those slashed off, right? Or how about slashing costs by firing 70% of your workforce? That one might be a mixed bag. Then there's the bad kind, which generally involves a chainsaw or rusty machete or something. What's the appeal? How does something like that get 13 movies spanning 44 years? And how do people find the time to watch them when they have fully booked schedule of spreading disease in central Florida? Some mysteries simply have no answers.
If you're Minnesotan or a Hoosier, you've probably heard about the Vikings vs Colts game. Biggest comeback in NFL history and all that. But that's not what Minnesota is really interested in this week. Step aside, purple pride, because Tom quitting the morning show is the real historical event. At least in this room it is. Our frame of reference may be somewhat limited.
Quick, name three 2022 blockbusters. Harder than it sounds, isn't it? The movie industry continues to struggle to make anything anyone cares about, while the TV industry is apparently in another golden age. There's never been a better time to sit at home and do nothing. Especially since every investment out there is apparently a Ponzi scheme now. I guess there's also never been a better time to commit wire fraud. Disclaimer: please don't commit wire fraud.
Get ready for some controversy, because Liz is back and she's written a book claiming that the literal media firestorm surrounding the death of George Floyd is clouded with lies and manipulation. Definitely don't get caught reading this one in Minneapolis. You also don't want to be caught being a Vikings fan lately, because - just as the prophets foretold - they suck now. Will they continue to suck, or will they pull off their first ever double twist and become good again just in time for the playoffs? Hey, miracles happen sometimes.
A Christmas Story is one of those movies that everyone remembers fondly and seems to unite the generations. It was made almost 40 years ago, so it's the perfect bridge between the Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. It's also, after all this time, gotten a sequel: A Christmas Story Christmas. Shot in the original house and everything, right? No, not even close. Today we learned a surprising fact about the movie that makes you more cultured than you realize.
Twists can be tough to do. When they're good, people will be talking about your movie for decades. When they're not so good, they basically ruin the entire thing. M Night Shyamalan is the undisputed king of both types of twist. And speaking of kings, here's the opposite of a twist: Tim and Tom are both still watching Tulsa King. Can you believe it?
What's scarier than nuclear fission? Actually, a lot of stuff. But for some reason, we've been conditioned to be afraid of it. Everything is going to be another Chernobyl. Robert is a professor of philosophy, so naturally, he asks "why"? Unfortunately for him, we aren't also philosophers, so the best we can do is say that people are stupid. Hey, we're not wrong. Then, Alex inadvertently asks what is apparently the world's hardest Vikings trivia question. Drop a reply on Facebook or Twitter if you knew what she was talking about before we figured it out, because nobody else in the room did.
If you wanna walk the walk, you gotta talk the talk. In this case, "walk the walk" means get a job, and "talk the talk" means...what it sounds like. Talk yourself up. It's called schmoozing, and it's an art as ancient as humanity itself. That's why Cody wrote Schmooze: What They Should Teach at Harvard Business School, which could be seen as the diplomatic partner to Sun Tsu's The Art of War. Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it really is an important skill. Without it, this podcast never would have existed. What a horrifying thought.
If you've been not particularly happy with Disney's behavior over the past two years, you're not the only one. That may be why they ousted Chapek after just under 1000 days and brought back Iger. Or maybe they just couldn't handle the "Paycheck" joke any more. It seems like eschewing the young is happening all over the place. Angela Alvarez just won the Latin Grammy for new artist at the age of 95. And let's not even talk about the age of our most recent presidents. The whole world is telling kids to get off its lawn. And really, who can blame it? Dang kids.
Two years ago, in the middle of covid, Kathryn's dad was trying to come back up north from Arizona. He was alone in a nursing home and couldn't get back to see his family. But then, Veterans Airlift Command stepped up and gave him a free flight to honor his status as a World War 2 veteran. There are millions of veterans out there, and thousands of them can't visit family or return home due to poverty, PTSD, or injury. That's why Jen and crew are giving flights to wounded veterans, fueled by your donations. Bitcoin not accepted. It's too confusing.
Apparently Jay Leno and Kristyn have a lot in common. They're both from the same town, apparently. They've also both had severe burns. I never said that having things in common is necessarily a good thing. This podcast also shares some commonalities with a celebrity. Sylvester Stallone has a Palm Beach house with many pools, while we have an inch of slush outside our office building. You could probably swim in it if you really wanted to. So really, we're not all that different.
Elections can't be trusted. Movies can't be trusted. Crypto can't be trusted. Not even our football teams can be trusted. The Vikings, in the lead? Something insidious is clearly going on. So you have two choices. You can either succumb to paranoia, or you can put your trust in something concrete and dependable. Something that's been there since the very beginning. That's right, we're talking about this podcast. Hey, it's true if you're under eleven years old.
Every culture has their own mythology related to death. Most of them are pretty much the same: you die, you go somewhere else. Sometimes that place isn't so good, but usually it's at least a lateral move. But for all the worrying we do about the afterlife, we often don't do a great job at making sure this life goes smoothly. Taking stupid risks, getting involved in crime, that sort of thing. Sleiman knows firsthand how dangerous life can be when you enter the criminal world, and he also knows how freeing it is to break out of it. Be like Google used to be, long ago. Make "don't be evil" your motto.
Instead We Became Evil: A True Story Of Survival & Perseverance - https://amzn.to/3WkgPHj
What do you get when you cross a human with more money than they know what to do with? You get a lot of very bad behavior. Aside from extremely bad opinions, this is the thread that connects pro athletes, politicians, and celebrities. Oh, and drugs. That's another thread. And plastic surgery. Actually, all rich people have quite a bit in common now that I think about it.
Minneapolis has quickly earned a reputation over the past couple years as a pro-crime city. Its leaders are also boggling over the fact that nobody wants to be a cop there. It's a real mystery, that's for sure. Scott Rose, sheriff in Dodge County and host of the Officer Down Podcast, comes on to talk about slain police and the efforts to smear them all as evil. Hopefully all it takes is some awareness to get people to realize that law enforcement is a preferable alternative to endless violent crime. Hopefully.
Listen to Scott's podcast here: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/24775782
Just take those old records off the shelf, because Spencer is about that old time rock and roll. He's not just about it; he produced a lot of it. Quiet Riot, Eddie Money, Cheap Trick, and even the Beach Boys were among some of his credits. Needless to say, he knows his stuff when it comes to the music of the past half a decade. To learn some of that stuff, watch The Day The Music Died: The Story Of “American Pie" on Paramount+.
The world is such a depressing place. We're all born dead, we suffer, and then we get reincarnated to do it all again. How do you cope? You lighten up, that's how. If Jesus can laugh and pet a golden retriever, so can you. If you're not quite ready for that level of lightness, try just turning off the news. You'll find that your fear levels drop significantly.
It seems that old things are either really valuable, or really not valuable. Take old vinyl albums, for example. Those are worth a ton to the right people. Heirlooms and antiques, even moreso. But an 8-track? Just burn it. It's not worth the space it takes up in the garbage. Makes you wonder what things we take for granted today that will be on next century's Antiques Roadshow. The answer is probably not NFTs.
No matter where you live, everything will kill you. Florida? Don't even bother, it's all venomous. Even up here in Minnesota where it's frozen half the year, we've got things that will put you in the hospital if you touch them. Okay, then you just move somewhere where it's frozen 100% of the year, right? Wrong. Wolves and bears. Better to just stay home and binge this show.
Think about the kind of TV and movies you watch. How much of it is depressing? You know, death, suffering, disease, that sort of thing. If you're the average viewer, the answer is apparently "a lot", because depressing fiction seems to be in right now. Today we delve into the psychology of why. We find no answers, but we certainly do delve.
It's mental illness awareness day. Well, okay, no it isn't. But on the podcast it is. Kanye had another manic episode and it's all anyone can talk about. We also talk about other famous celebrities with mental problems, such as every comedian ever. Except Costaki, of course. As long as he can keep making fun of Tom Brady, he'll be okay.
Today we talk about George Carlin. But not just George Carlin. Because while Jerry has plenty of stories of having Carlin as a friend, he has even more about the music and entertainment business. You may have heard that the music industry has a lot of weirdos in it. Well, you heard right. If you wish to stay on topic, go watch George Carlin's American Dream on HBO.
Today we talk about the exceptional. People we all aspire to be. Geniuses, billionaires, and of course, Tim and Kristyn. Unfortunately, we can't all go back to the early 70s and buy the rights to Tubular Bells, so we'll have to settle for proximity to greatness. And what do the greats do? Not watch movies, apparently.
Another week, another scandal involving Antonio Brown. It's so expected that it's not even scandalous any more. It's as big of a scandal as the sun rising each day. Bros, on the other hand, is a real scandal. Apparently everyone who doesn't watch it is evil. Doesn't that make you want to rush out and go pay money for it? Being called names?
Today we learn what everyone's least favorite fast food is. Then we learn what everyone's least favorite superhero is. And by "everyone", in that case I mean people on Twitter. But really, who cares about Twitter lunatics? What's more important is watching a show about the serial killer of the week. This week: Jeffrey Dahmer. Did you know he was mentally ill? It's true.
Mike Brody is a midwest native, which means we have to talk about midwest things. You know, the Renaissance Festival, the Timberwolves, geocentrism. Hey, if you lived in a place where it drops to negative temperatures for months at a time, you'd start asking questions about the sun too. Costaki also joins us, and while his universe doesn't revolve around him, it does revolve around making fun of Tom Brady. That's an aspect of Greek mythology they don't teach you in school.
Pure Flix keeps coming out with, well, flix, and it is our duty to cover them. This time it's An Unlikely Angel, a story about not wasting the present. Also, time traveling angels who show you the future. You may not get a chance to see what the future holds in real life, but you can avoid wasting the present by doing indoor skydiving. Yes, it's a thing, and apparently it's less lethal than it sounds.
Midterms are coming up, and Minnesota may or may not be getting a new governor in the process. The race is apparently pretty tight. It would take apocalyptic conditions to get Minnesotans to vote Republican, but on certain streets in Minneapolis it's difficult to argue that Ragnarok isn't upon us. If anyone sees a giant wolf fighting a man with one eye, let us know.
It's episode two two two two, which is perfect because today's episode is all about the two party system. It's bad. You may have heard that before. But depending on who you ask, one party is a lot less bad than the other. Sid and Mike Bryant are both not shy about which party they think that is. Thing is, they might not agree on the party. Hijinks, naturally, ensue.
Sid-izens United: Salacious Spiels, Stories, Suggestions, and Solutions to Withstand a Woke World - amzn.to/3f02izq
Spooktemper continues with Daniel, author of American Demon, who tells us all about cutting bodies in half with surgical precision. I mean a serial killer doing it, not Daniel. He's an author, not a surgeon. And speaking of serial killers, we learn that Brett Favre might as well be one in Tom's eyes. It doesn't get more evil than being a jerk, apparently.
American Demon: Eliot Ness and the Hunt for America's Jack the Ripper - amzn.to/3BhobBx
Tom and Kathryn are back from their trip to the Boston area, and as it just so happens, Kristyn is from that area too. Yet we don't mention baked beans once. Is this a sign that the times are indeed a-changin'? Is the lobster roll the new ubiquitous New England food? If so, we can get behind that.
Halloween is approaching, so it's time to talk fear. You know, death, the dark, that sort of thing. Tornados? Those are pretty scary to us midwesterners. Spiders? If they're big, sure. How about a tornado made of spiders? If you've ever cleaned out an old basement you may have seen one personally, and you know how unpleasant that was. On a more serious note, check out The Harbinger, shot entirely in Minnesota. No tornados made of spiders here, just good old evil.
Tom is an official pitcher for the Twins now, so naturally we have to talk up the stadium. It's good for business. That's how baseball players like Tom make so much money. We got a few calls from adoring fans, of course. We also got a call from Abby, who wanted to talk about her acting career instead, probably because she grew up in Tennessee so she's not a Twins fan. See her in Secret Headquarters on Paramount+ now and Boys of Summer later this year.
Tom's throwing out the first pitch of the Twins game tonight, and he made sure not to practice at all. How that ends up for him remains to be seen. They say you never lose that muscle memory, unlike losing the nostalgia of going to the theater. We've said it before, but it bears repeating: movies are bad now. TV, on the other hand, is apparently great. As long as you know where to look, anyway.
Susie has had some ups and downs. Losing everything to a wildfire, that's a down. Becoming a movie star is an up. You see what I mean. Two days ago she added another movie, Love In Bloom, to her portfolio. It's on Great American Family, which is fitting because we ourselves are a great American family. Depending on who you ask, of course. Others might use different words.
And speaking of families, Heather is one of the people spearheading a study called 10,000 families, which aims to collect information from - fittingly - 10,000 Minnesota families to try and determine if any lifestyle or environmental differences between the two might give us more insight into the way they impact health. Medical science still has a long way to go. Most doctors denied the link between cigarettes and lung cancer as late as the 70s. So make sure to participate in the study and maybe you can prevent your children from doing some harmful thing that you did back when we didn't know it was harmful.
It seems like every day, there's a new crisis. In a country of over 300 million people, this is to be expected. Bad news for people who have trouble with threat assessment. Good news for people who have a podcast about the latest crisis. Yes, I'm going somewhere with this. Roshini has just such a podcast: The Crisis Files, where the Crisis Squad takes on the issue of the day.
Then, Giovanni Ruscitti joins to talk about his trip to Italy to rediscover his heritage with his parents who immigrated here from the Abruzzo region after experiencing the brunt of World War 2 firsthand. Unsurprisingly, there was a bit of culture shock going from Colorado to the streets of Italy where you can still see the damage from the war and poverty. As sad as it is, it can make you thankful for things that you do have, such as a town that was never occupied by a hostile invading force.
Cobblestones, Conversations, and Corks: A Son's Discovery of His Italian Heritage - amzn.to/3C9AqlS
Hollywood is always patting themselves on the back for being on the forefront of everything. All good in the world, they are responsible for. This coming from the people who brought you Battlefield Earth. Their credibility is suspect, to say the least. Kristyn, on the other hand, is a very credible babysitter apparently. Also entertainment reporter, but babysitter first. It's a more fun job.
Ask any older parent and they'll tell you that the childhood years will be over before you know it. Ask a younger parent and time has slowed to a crawl. Hence, "Long Days, Short Years". Andy Bomback is not only an author and parent, he's a doctor as well, which means he has to juggle a scientific mind with the behavior of a small child, who you could argue behave the opposite of scientifically.
Have you ever wanted a burger, but didn't want it to be a real burger? Well have I got news for you. We're currently in a fake hamburger renaissance, apparently. You can get a patty made out of fake meat, or beans, or quinoa, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe you and your pet bison can become brand ambassadors for the latest burger-shaped substance.
Have you heard that Jesus is on HBO Max? If you're part of his family, he'll make sure you know. Otherwise, it's up to us to spread the word. It's a big responsibility, but we can handle it. Especially now that we know how to pronounce the name of the series with complete accuracy. See him on his special, Mr. Tough Life, ready to watch right now. Also, we have a few listener questions for Tom that we field. Check our social media every Friday to ask the family anything you can think of.
When you think about famous people, you probably think about overdosing on drugs. I mean, them overdosing on drugs. Though you couldn't be blamed for wanting to end it all when you hear about the latest celebrity "news". Anyway, there's a reason the connection between celebrities and drugs is so universal. Harry Milman has gone through several celebrity deaths to investigate the strange circumstances behind them. Of the ones he looked at, 70% of them involved drugs. That's a lot. He's not one to pontificate on why so many famous people seem to be drug addicts. This is about what happened, not why. Although the answer to that question isn't always obvious either.
Forensics: The Science Behind the Deaths of Famous People
Humanity loves to make mountains out of molehills. Whether it's the latest disease with an animal's name in it, nuclear meltdowns, or witches, there's always something to pretend is going to come get you. That's not to say there are real dangers out there. Like overly graphic scenes in TV shows and movies. That'll scar you for life. Just say "no" to anything with a harder rating than G.
Mickey's Diner, a long-standing Saint Paul institution, is in dire straits. The property has been sold and the future of the business is in question. Rumor has it they were too late to the celery game, because apparently everyone is obsessed with the most boring plant in existence now. Or maybe the problem was people listening to podcasters talk about the various substances you might find in a public pool and losing their appetites.
The last of something is always interesting. The last of the Mohicans. The last dragon. The last samurai. Maybe not that last one. How about the last Jewish gangster? No, it's not David. Although David is a Jewish name, and he did wrestle a bear. That sounds like something a gangster would do. The subject of this book is Michael Hardy, godson of Bugsy Seigel and committer of various crimes both petty and whatever the opposite of petty is. Grand, I guess.
THE LAST JEWISH GANGSTER: The Early Years - amzn.to/3zATsjr
Pest control is important. Otherwise you get raccoons eating your trash, turkeys taking over your yard, and professional athletes saying $44 million a year isn't enough. You have to stay on top of these things. If you have a professional athlete problem, the best thing you can do is turn off the TV and stop buying tickets. It may seem cruel, but if you ignore the problem you'll end up with tons of them, and then they'll all starve to death come winter. And by "starve to death" I mean "retire at the age of 25".
When you think about someone fighting back against an attacker, you probably don't think of a 16 year old girl. That's part of the reason said girls do need to learn to fight back. Can't be an easy target. Dana decided at a young age that self-defense was the way to go, and she encourages all women to do the same. Once you've learned how to defend yourself, you can learn another skill from the rest of us: the ability to hate all politicians. That one takes years to master.
Americans are some of the least-taxed people in the first world. And yet, it's still too much. It's your money. You worked for it. Why shouldn't you keep it? Well, there are ways to make that happen. The reason you pay taxes is because the government wants the fruits of your labor. But if you labor with the government, they're already benefiting, right? Hence, tax breaks.
The Win-Win Wealth Strategy: 7 Investments the Government Will Pay You to Make